My realisations

I’ve realized....

That no matter how I feel about someone, it is impossible to express.

That no matter how unhappy I am, the world won’t stop for my grief.

That my parents love me like no one else can, but that does not mean that they understand me totally.

That the way things worked for my parents, things don’t work that way any more because the world is 25 years ahead now.

That my parents may disagree with me, but they still are the only people in the world who love me most.

That no one in the world is indispensable; the World will not stop functioning even if I don’t exist.

That someone may be very important to me in my life, but it is not necessary that I will be equally important to that person.

That I thought I was the most important person in someone's life but they have found new people now and I am important no more.

That a lot of people seem to like me because they have selfish interests.

That don’t expect anything from anyone, expectations are the cause of all pain.

That sometimes I have to smile even when I want to cry.

That I should greet everyone with a smile, no one cares if I am unhappy, they simply don’t like seeing a grumpy face.

That I can’t trust everyone to let out my innermost feelings to them.

That I should not take for granted the people who love me, I might realize later that they are the only people who actually love me.

That all decisions seem right when I am taking those decisions, in hindsight most of them appear to be wrong.

That it is best that some things are never said.

That every day I grow as a person.

That it is alright to feel stupid at times.

That I am not a child if I shed some tears.

That everyone doesn’t deserve my tears.

That there are times I feel lonely, I should'nt cry out for help. I can't leave my loneliness alone.

That I have only one life, i will live it on my own terms.

That Life is good, Its not so bad after all. !!!!

ENJOY LIFE!!

I wonder!

Haven't really got the time to sit and ponder.
What is this phase of life? I wonder!

The season is changing.
Am I changing? I wonder!

My mood is upbeat, my heart is at peace.
Is it the calm before the storm? I wonder!

Its been a while since my eyes were wet with salty water.
Why am I missing it already? I wonder!

I live in my self created meaningless world of dreams.
It dosen't take money to dream, does it? I wonder!

I have become a stronger person.
Why do I still have fears deep within? I wonder!

I'm not as emotional as I used to be
Why am I feigning a smile? I wonder!

I am loving this phase of life.
How long will it last? I wonder!

Another year

This year the vivid red of my heart changed colour,
This year the brightest colours seemed duller.
This year the lips and the heart got inebriated,
This year I felt both empty and satiated.
This year sometimes my heart skipped a beat,
At times the ground was shaken below my feet.
I sat on the steps with a friend,
At times when the pain knew no end.
I found warmth in loved ones' arms,
The storm in the sea was suddenly calm.
This year at times silence was beautiful,
Though there were times solitude was painful.
This year I laughed till the stomach ached,
I also cried whenever the heart ached.
This year was eventful, forever it seems,
I saw many nightmares and a few dreams.
As the sun sets at the horizon,
To rise again next year
I pray to the Almighty,
For another eventful year!

Two ends

I am painstakingly Indian, but I want to see the world.
I want to be independent, yet I am dependent for everything on people I love.

I want to love and be loved, but I dont trust anyone enough.
I want to achieve perfection, but I dont try hard enough.

I dont want to expect anything from anyone, yet I set high standards.
I love, but I dont know how to show it through actions or words.

Some say I have a sweet smile, I know I have salty tears.
I want to be fearless, yet I have deep and silent fears.

I dream, yet I dont believe dreams can come true.
I say I dont believe in destiny, yet I am sure I do.

I want to live a planned life, yet I live in utter chaos.
I want to be a rebel, yet I accept what life has to offer.

I want to have people around me, but solitude loves me.
Nothing's wrong with my life, yet i feel that there are things that could have been better!

I want to live in oblivion, mystery intrigues me.
I think Life is a mystery I dont want to unravel, yet my curiosity kills me.

I live at two ends, trying desperately to make them meet.

November Rain

The cold november rain.
Some pleasures and no pain.
The wind blows soft
The earth's moist
It smells like heaven
There's a pleasant noise.
The "rum raisin" does wonders
Life's on a high.
The rollercoaster's on the top
I wish it dosen't leave the sky.
Are good times here to stay?
Come on Sweta, don't go your old way.

Strangers

You know me so well now,
There's nothing I can hide.
I claim to know u so well as well,
But there's so much about you that I can't decide.
When I talk to a stranger though,
There is a strange comfort I know.
I can say whatever I want.
Without the fear of being misunderstood,
I can do whatever I want.
No expectations,
No fear of losing,
No insecurity,
A strange comfort away from reality.
Can we also,
Not know each other as well as we do.
Lets get back to where we started,
Lets become strangers too...!

A New Leaf

The autumn has set in,
Can i see new leaves..?
Haven't noticed yet.
But I have got a new life.

A new morning, a new night,
Not a whole new world,
But a new point of view,
A new sun, a new light.

"Is this ephemeral?", I ask.
It is'nt , no questions asked.
The confusion seems to have vanished,
The defeatist vanquished.

Seasons change,
but not very fast.
I wish my new season,
also does not fade fast.