A box of chocolates

There are some moments which half dare-half invite. You know what's in store for you and though you want it somewhere, u deny. There comes a wave which wants to sweep you away. You can either hold on or go with the flow. Life calls out for you, it demands that one bit of courage and faith to jump out of the window without caring about the consequences. You want to be strong, at least feel strong or at least pretend to be strong. One moment you are sure, one moment unsure. You dont accept that you are unsure, pretence prevails. Or maybe its not pretence but a cocoon you don't want to come out of. You want to live in a make-believe world of happiness, not knowing that once you spin the cocoon, you will be flying out in beautiful colours. You don't want to break the norm, the convention. Its convenient, its comfortable. But didn't you hate being convenient? No, Its just simple. Simplicity attracts. The moment you think that things are in control, they go out of control, or so you think. And then you get ready for the dare. You lose, but somewhere you win. Your plans fall out of place, actually they now begin to fall into place. One moment of intoxication,intoxicated with an old friendship, a long-lost love, of having that courage to step out of your cocoon, of jumping out of the window, of not knowing what you are upto. What life is upto. One moment that changes your life. Perhaps some life-changing moments, some long-lost hopes. Life is strange. God has his own plans that you possibly can't mess with. Plans that don't sink in very easily. Indeed, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you get." .

Rediscovering Art..

"The only time I feel alive is when I'm painting." - Vincent Van Gogh.

I can't agree more with Vincent Van Gogh. The art of painting does manage to make one feel alive. The blank canvas gradually transforms into a picture and the artist sees it through every stage of the transformation.
I love to mix colours. The trial till I get to that perfect shade is so much fun..and I love the names of the colours - Burnt Sienna, Crimson Red, et al...
For the time when I am painting, I am not thinking about anything else. It makes me live in the moment. Sometimes I get so lost in the painting that after a few hours into it I realize I have colour all over my clothes.
In the hustle bustle of the city; my painting class is my quiet corner.
It also requires so much of patience to work on one canvas for so many days and so many hours till I begin to see my vision shaping up into a picture.
And yes, the artist never seems to be satisfied. Some stroke seems wrong, some colors look incomplete, there is always an itch that something can still be made better.
A regular practice for an artist is that every few minutes the artist needs to keep looking at the painting from a distance to know how the picture is shaping. Isn't it such an important lesson in life? To look at life from a distance. When you look at it too closely you see it only in bits and parts and you miss the entire picture.

I am re-discovering art and I have to say that I am loving every bit of it...

Om...

Om. It is the root of all sounds. Every other sound is contained in it and it takes one beyond all sounds.
Every other day when I step on to the yoga mat, close my eyes and start my yoga class with the chant of Om, I can feel the power in this word.
Yoga is an art that has been practised for hundreds of years. As for me, just 3 months into it and I'm in love with this art. I look forward to my yoga classes and would'nt miss them for anything.
A little bit about my yoga teacher. He is an extremely funny man. He cracks his PJs when you are in the middle of a very difficult asana, makes you laugh and you gotta do it again.
He says I am his favourite student. Thats because I somehow find a way to do every asana wrong!
But trust me, it actually feels good when you just don't feel the stretch until you make an adjustment of a fraction of a centimetre and you suddenly start feeling the stretch. Or when the yoga teacher says, just use your will power and imagination and breathe from your left nostril only. And ya, after a few unsuccessful attempts it actually works. And thats when you feel a supreme sense of control! Or when he says, focus on a point in between your eyebrows. You might wonder, how does that help? But if a slight bend in the chin at a certain angle can cause an internal change in the body, I'm sure this one also does something.
The relaxation that one feels after Shavasana is probably a testimony to the power of yoga. Coz in shavasana you are not doing anything except lying down dead and shifting your focus to different parts of the body. And its surprising how you get up feeling so relaxed.
It is a form of art that requires you to be fully present in the moment. So, there was this day when I went to class with a totally distracted head and came out just the same. So, from that day onwards I know that to get value out of it, I need to be present, both physically and mentally. In this hurried existence called Life, I am happy that by virtue of my yoga classes I manage to be totally with myself for at least a few hours every week.
Given the fact that I am staying alone, yoga class which is conducted in my apartments also helps me build a social circle. So, the other day it was really nice getting introduced to this bengali lady in the yoga class. We sometimes greet each other now with a 'kemon acho'.
All in all, its been a wonderful experience so far and as they say - to find out what it is all about, you have to practice it.

Coming back to Life, and to blog...

I am back. After the long hiatus. I had forgotten that I used to blog, that I used to write; until I was reminded by a dear friend to start writing again. This new start I dedicate to you.
I've given my blog a new look, a new life.
When I looked back at some of the posts, I couldn't help but laugh at the negativity behind them. Euthanasia, literally good death, was appropriate and those posts were hence cremated.
I come back with a resolve - to stare straight into the shining sun....!

Sunshine!
- Sweta , Aug 12, 2008

Music

"Take a sad song and make it better" - Hey Jude, Beatles.

What if I say? - " If you are sad, take a song and feel better" .

According to Wikipedia - Music is an art form consisting of sound and silence. For me, the sound and the silence is therapeutic. So many times I've felt broken and a song has mend my soul. So many times I have taken a walk with music plugged into my ears and when I have looked up at the vast blue of the sky, I've found myself transported to another world.
And I so feel like agreeing to what the wise little boy says -That God must be a musician. He must be, coz he tells me to go listen to a song whenever I am upset.
And then when I sing along, it dosent really matter if I am not in melody, coz I can sing like no one's listening and scream all my sorrows out.
And then there are songs which you associate with some people and though the people may not be there in your life any longer, whenever the song plays anywhere, you get reminded of them. And then you sing -
"A long, long time ago,
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile. "
But yes, I can be sure when I say - The day the music dies will be the day that I die."