I sit with a pen and paper in hand
A heavy heart and a vacant mind
I try to pen down my thoughts
Words fail, I seem to be able to write not.
Its been a while, I tell myself.
A while, yes a long while.
I miss so many things, so many people
This seems to be just one of them.
I'm nostalgic, very.
Someone come to me,
This nostalgia might just kill me.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
Stay
We have to move on in life, they say.
Then why do I want to stay?
Why the insecurity about the future?
Where is the excitement? Why the fear?
Let Go! is just so easy to say.
But why is it just so much more difficult today?
People change, life moves on.
Different people keep coming into our lives.
There are some that leave an impact
There are some who fade away.
Cynical I am, I don't trust my memory.
I wonder when it will betray
And take these beautiful memories away
And so I want some people, some places and some memories to just stay.
Then why do I want to stay?
Why the insecurity about the future?
Where is the excitement? Why the fear?
Let Go! is just so easy to say.
But why is it just so much more difficult today?
People change, life moves on.
Different people keep coming into our lives.
There are some that leave an impact
There are some who fade away.
Cynical I am, I don't trust my memory.
I wonder when it will betray
And take these beautiful memories away
And so I want some people, some places and some memories to just stay.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
What Lies Ahead!!
"Hey, i'm getting bored..."
How many times have i heard this from myself already this year?
What is this phase of life, I wonder?
What lies ahead, I fear...
"Hey, time has stopped it seems"
With nothing interesting happening
My sleeping hours extended
I have just too much time with me to dream..
"Theatre is 150 bucks, lets watch the movie on the LAN"
With ten of us in one small room,
Giggling and watching fourteen movies
In a one week span.
"Hey, I am short of cash
Lets window shop.."
With so many of us over one cup of coffee, I think..
Sitting in a coffee shop.
Those pay cheques will be coming in soon
Forget the cash
Wallets and purses will be full of credit cards
And it will be time for some bash..
Money there will be, but no time
With one meeting after another queued up in line.
When you call up a friend he will then say
"Sorry friend, no time today.. Maybe some other day"
The big screen will be affordable soon
A large Coke and Popcorn won't be luxury
But where will I buy time and where my friends
Thats precisely my worry.
What lies ahead, I do not know.
Do i want to know , I dont know.
Do i actually want time to stop?
Maybe I do, I really don't know.
How many times have i heard this from myself already this year?
What is this phase of life, I wonder?
What lies ahead, I fear...
"Hey, time has stopped it seems"
With nothing interesting happening
My sleeping hours extended
I have just too much time with me to dream..
"Theatre is 150 bucks, lets watch the movie on the LAN"
With ten of us in one small room,
Giggling and watching fourteen movies
In a one week span.
"Hey, I am short of cash
Lets window shop.."
With so many of us over one cup of coffee, I think..
Sitting in a coffee shop.
Those pay cheques will be coming in soon
Forget the cash
Wallets and purses will be full of credit cards
And it will be time for some bash..
Money there will be, but no time
With one meeting after another queued up in line.
When you call up a friend he will then say
"Sorry friend, no time today.. Maybe some other day"
The big screen will be affordable soon
A large Coke and Popcorn won't be luxury
But where will I buy time and where my friends
Thats precisely my worry.
What lies ahead, I do not know.
Do i want to know , I dont know.
Do i actually want time to stop?
Maybe I do, I really don't know.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
My realisations
I’ve realized....
That no matter how I feel about someone, it is impossible to express.
That no matter how unhappy I am, the world won’t stop for my grief.
That my parents love me like no one else can, but that does not mean that they understand me totally.
That the way things worked for my parents, things don’t work that way any more because the world is 25 years ahead now.
That my parents may disagree with me, but they still are the only people in the world who love me most.
That no one in the world is indispensable; the World will not stop functioning even if I don’t exist.
That someone may be very important to me in my life, but it is not necessary that I will be equally important to that person.
That I thought I was the most important person in someone's life but they have found new people now and I am important no more.
That a lot of people seem to like me because they have selfish interests.
That don’t expect anything from anyone, expectations are the cause of all pain.
That sometimes I have to smile even when I want to cry.
That I should greet everyone with a smile, no one cares if I am unhappy, they simply don’t like seeing a grumpy face.
That I can’t trust everyone to let out my innermost feelings to them.
That I should not take for granted the people who love me, I might realize later that they are the only people who actually love me.
That all decisions seem right when I am taking those decisions, in hindsight most of them appear to be wrong.
That it is best that some things are never said.
That every day I grow as a person.
That it is alright to feel stupid at times.
That I am not a child if I shed some tears.
That everyone doesn’t deserve my tears.
That there are times I feel lonely, I should'nt cry out for help. I can't leave my loneliness alone.
That I have only one life, i will live it on my own terms.
That Life is good, Its not so bad after all. !!!!
ENJOY LIFE!!
That no matter how I feel about someone, it is impossible to express.
That no matter how unhappy I am, the world won’t stop for my grief.
That my parents love me like no one else can, but that does not mean that they understand me totally.
That the way things worked for my parents, things don’t work that way any more because the world is 25 years ahead now.
That my parents may disagree with me, but they still are the only people in the world who love me most.
That no one in the world is indispensable; the World will not stop functioning even if I don’t exist.
That someone may be very important to me in my life, but it is not necessary that I will be equally important to that person.
That I thought I was the most important person in someone's life but they have found new people now and I am important no more.
That a lot of people seem to like me because they have selfish interests.
That don’t expect anything from anyone, expectations are the cause of all pain.
That sometimes I have to smile even when I want to cry.
That I should greet everyone with a smile, no one cares if I am unhappy, they simply don’t like seeing a grumpy face.
That I can’t trust everyone to let out my innermost feelings to them.
That I should not take for granted the people who love me, I might realize later that they are the only people who actually love me.
That all decisions seem right when I am taking those decisions, in hindsight most of them appear to be wrong.
That it is best that some things are never said.
That every day I grow as a person.
That it is alright to feel stupid at times.
That I am not a child if I shed some tears.
That everyone doesn’t deserve my tears.
That there are times I feel lonely, I should'nt cry out for help. I can't leave my loneliness alone.
That I have only one life, i will live it on my own terms.
That Life is good, Its not so bad after all. !!!!
ENJOY LIFE!!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
I wonder!
Haven't really got the time to sit and ponder.
What is this phase of life? I wonder!
The season is changing.
Am I changing? I wonder!
My mood is upbeat, my heart is at peace.
Is it the calm before the storm? I wonder!
Its been a while since my eyes were wet with salty water.
Why am I missing it already? I wonder!
I live in my self created meaningless world of dreams.
It dosen't take money to dream, does it? I wonder!
I have become a stronger person.
Why do I still have fears deep within? I wonder!
I'm not as emotional as I used to be
Why am I feigning a smile? I wonder!
I am loving this phase of life.
How long will it last? I wonder!
What is this phase of life? I wonder!
The season is changing.
Am I changing? I wonder!
My mood is upbeat, my heart is at peace.
Is it the calm before the storm? I wonder!
Its been a while since my eyes were wet with salty water.
Why am I missing it already? I wonder!
I live in my self created meaningless world of dreams.
It dosen't take money to dream, does it? I wonder!
I have become a stronger person.
Why do I still have fears deep within? I wonder!
I'm not as emotional as I used to be
Why am I feigning a smile? I wonder!
I am loving this phase of life.
How long will it last? I wonder!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Another year
This year the vivid red of my heart changed colour,
This year the brightest colours seemed duller.
This year the lips and the heart got inebriated,
This year I felt both empty and satiated.
This year sometimes my heart skipped a beat,
At times the ground was shaken below my feet.
I sat on the steps with a friend,
At times when the pain knew no end.
I found warmth in loved ones' arms,
The storm in the sea was suddenly calm.
This year at times silence was beautiful,
Though there were times solitude was painful.
This year I laughed till the stomach ached,
I also cried whenever the heart ached.
This year was eventful, forever it seems,
I saw many nightmares and a few dreams.
As the sun sets at the horizon,
To rise again next year
I pray to the Almighty,
For another eventful year!
This year the brightest colours seemed duller.
This year the lips and the heart got inebriated,
This year I felt both empty and satiated.
This year sometimes my heart skipped a beat,
At times the ground was shaken below my feet.
I sat on the steps with a friend,
At times when the pain knew no end.
I found warmth in loved ones' arms,
The storm in the sea was suddenly calm.
This year at times silence was beautiful,
Though there were times solitude was painful.
This year I laughed till the stomach ached,
I also cried whenever the heart ached.
This year was eventful, forever it seems,
I saw many nightmares and a few dreams.
As the sun sets at the horizon,
To rise again next year
I pray to the Almighty,
For another eventful year!
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Two ends
I am painstakingly Indian, but I want to see the world.
I want to be independent, yet I am dependent for everything on people I love.
I want to love and be loved, but I dont trust anyone enough.
I want to achieve perfection, but I dont try hard enough.
I dont want to expect anything from anyone, yet I set high standards.
I love, but I dont know how to show it through actions or words.
Some say I have a sweet smile, I know I have salty tears.
I want to be fearless, yet I have deep and silent fears.
I dream, yet I dont believe dreams can come true.
I say I dont believe in destiny, yet I am sure I do.
I want to live a planned life, yet I live in utter chaos.
I want to be a rebel, yet I accept what life has to offer.
I want to have people around me, but solitude loves me.
Nothing's wrong with my life, yet i feel that there are things that could have been better!
I want to live in oblivion, mystery intrigues me.
I think Life is a mystery I dont want to unravel, yet my curiosity kills me.
I live at two ends, trying desperately to make them meet.
I want to be independent, yet I am dependent for everything on people I love.
I want to love and be loved, but I dont trust anyone enough.
I want to achieve perfection, but I dont try hard enough.
I dont want to expect anything from anyone, yet I set high standards.
I love, but I dont know how to show it through actions or words.
Some say I have a sweet smile, I know I have salty tears.
I want to be fearless, yet I have deep and silent fears.
I dream, yet I dont believe dreams can come true.
I say I dont believe in destiny, yet I am sure I do.
I want to live a planned life, yet I live in utter chaos.
I want to be a rebel, yet I accept what life has to offer.
I want to have people around me, but solitude loves me.
Nothing's wrong with my life, yet i feel that there are things that could have been better!
I want to live in oblivion, mystery intrigues me.
I think Life is a mystery I dont want to unravel, yet my curiosity kills me.
I live at two ends, trying desperately to make them meet.
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