How to sit on a bench

Are you wondering what's the big deal? Let me tell you, its a very difficult task, a mammoth one. I'm sure all of us have sat on a bench in school or college and have been addressed as back benchers at some point of time. I still remember the professor saying - " Last Bench!! Out of the class!!" . So whats the big deal? Why this article on " How to sit on a bench".? "C'Mon Man! I already know that! " - Did I hear you say that?

Well you are highly mistaken. Sitting on a bench is not as easy as it may sound. You think you want to go back to school and learn the art, forget it! You don't need to. This phase comes much later in life, and you really need to learn it "On the JOB!!"....

To sit on a bench, there are certain eligibilty criteria that you must satisfy. One, you must be qualified enough, at least a graduate. Postgraduates like us do a better job there! and if you are an MBA then you will enjoy it all the more, so what if all of the last few months you were waiting for some exciting work..!

As i said, sitting on a bench is very difficult. Let me elaborate. When you are sitting on a bench, you are not expected to do much unlike the bench in school or college where you were expected to at least answer the professor's questions. And if you were occupying the back benches, u were more in the target area of the bombarding questions of the professor. But on this bench, u will not be asked any questions, nor are there any expectations. The reason being very simple - You are merely Inexperienced Enthusiasts, and enthusiasts always occupied the first few benches in class, remember the forever enthusiastic geeks!

Next, you get loads of money for just warming the benches. So you will not even feel like getting out of class! Coz in another class, u might have to occupy the first few benches and you might get lesser money!

Ok.! Now lets come to what you do when you are sitting on a bench! Well, when you are on a bench, then the times-they-are-a-wasting! You can indulge in all your hobbies! You haven't read a book in a long time.. what u saying? Being on bench, you can be an avid reader!!

When you get bored of reading a book, you can just stare into outer space and wonder - " Why the hell am I here? What am I doing here? Why? What? When? How? All these interrogatives will fill your mind and rid you of all the boredom.Then you can get back to reading the book you were reading. You can keep yourself terribly updated with news. Every morning after you record your entry into a noisy square device, you can sit an stare at the newspaper for hours together.

You can also touch base with all your friends while you are sitting on a bench. How? C'mon thats not tough. The Internet and the fixed local telephone line at your desk will come to your rescue. You can keep looking for people on your internet messenger and disturb them once in a while. And if they have also been mastering the art of sitting on a bench, well! then nothing like it! You can sit and talk to them for hours together!!

Remember the days in school when you were not feeling too well and the teacher said - Ok! Sleep with your head down! So, precisely what I am trying to say is that when you are sitting on a bench, you can sleep with your head down, with no teacher telling you to wake up. Doze off into your own world of dreams, anytime of the day!

Let me tell u the scene when you enter this bench-art-seekers' world! You will see these mortals trying very hard to perfect the art.. and since u must not disturb, you will find these "hardworking" souls with a headphone on. Whats playing on the headphone is a different question altogether..! You might just hear someone listening to some Knowledge and learning sessions or you might also hear some person trying to sing with his nostrils. Don't worry, these are recreation mechanisms followed all over this land of wannabe bench experts!

While you are mastering the art of sitting on a bench, you can also master some other areas, like possibly Income tax, because thats one of most discussed topics. You could also look at other professions like Coffee and Tea tasters because while u are mastering this art, you are also trying out different coffee and tea varieties, where one cup of tea lasts an hour, coz of course you want to kill time.

Some people in this land can also entertain themselves by playing a computer game; you could keep digging a gold mine for hours and then you could contemplate as to how to get a mighty large game like Some empires on to this cursed machine; you can think of some electronic devices like disks, pen drives etc. Mind you, everything in this land is electronic! its all technology. So before you create any noise, you must remember - 'Techies at 'Work' ! '; Work is the keyword there!!

Sometimes these benchers are invited for meetings and sometimes they are not. Of the tons of e-mails that they read throughout the day, most of which are supposed to be ignored by them, there will be one relevant mail. The meetings happen after millions of rescheduling but don't you dare ask them the output of the meetings; they will not tell.

Since a desktop machine is your only saviour, you look for all kinds of entertainment here. From internet messengers to other websites. Remember the proxy that you used to put in class, which the back benchers were great at putting. Here you are all enlightened on a different kind of 'proxy'. You know which proxy site to use to enable access to one of the most famous blue and pink colour social networking site. The moment the entertainment hijackers block one of these 'proxy' sites you figure out another one. After all, how can you live without all the crap called scrap!!

Its a difficult art, but the rest is for me to know and for you to find out.....
Good luck!