Subterranean Homesick Blues

I might have the cash
To pay to a random person
To cook me my meals.

I might have the ways
To find a new one to do that
Each and every month.

But the taste in the food
Never comes close
To that of yours, My dearest Mum.

The credit in my account every month
Might be ten times now
Of what it was, when I was in school

But the work that I do for it
Doesn't comes close
To the effort I put in reading up the books

It doesn't even match
To the beauty Dad
Of asking you for the tiny monthly allowance.

You were away
On foreign shores
The distance was more, the call charges more.

Its just a rupee now, compared to six
The two and half hours gap, ceases to exist.
But I miss talking to you now, my dearest Sid

I know the work takes a toll on you
I know the commute is bothering too
Don’t worry baby, I understand and I'm not complaining too.

Inspite of hefty phone bills now
Compared to the tiny recharges and missed calls
Of those days back in school

I fondly remember the passing on
Of the phone from Dad, to Sid, to Mum
As a ritual, each and everyday.

Of inflated egos

I wish they were balloons and I could burst them with a needle. You would just see me jumping around bursting balloons.... I hate inflated egos. Sometimes in my dreams i go around bursting them. Only if I could do that in reality...

Delhi 6

Of late, nothing has impacted me more than this movie, and hence it gives me something to write upon.

It was for me, a weekend gone waste. A movie which was constantly forcing me to get up and leave the theatre, but kept me glued to the seat in anticipation of some hope, something that would rescue the evening for me. But Alas, it didnt happen. When the movie got over, I was left yearning for something that would make my evening worth it, while on the other hand, I was relieved that it was over.

Another movie on the same old cliched subject of the evils in our country. The so called "social message" is nothing new or unique and the execution of the plot is distressing.

After a point the Ramleela becomes irritating and the Kala Bandar frustrating. The movie moves sluggishly, or rather, it dosent move. The Ramleela and Kala Bandar are so overdone that it leaves you with yearning for something more to happen. The monkey man is so stretched that what was chosen to be a metaphor becomes funny in the climax. The climax is particularly bad with the Bacchans meeting in heaven. It is shoddy. Abhishek Bachan's fake accent is so unimpressive and Sonam Kapoor's character is a waste, especially with the Indian Idol shit thrown in. Abhishek's sudden realisation that Delhi -6 is it for him, is just so unbelievable. Its too sudden to sink in. Its typically Bollywood. The kala bandar will give me nightmares for some time now!

Till the last half an hour of the movie I was not sure what the movie is about. Is it about the depiction of Old Delhi, is it about the self discovery of an American born Indian, is it about Bittu and Roshan, or is it a social message? It was as if the director suddenly remembered that the social message needs to be told and it was so blatant and in-the-face.

The only saving grace were the songs. Masakali is nice and the picturisation of Dil Gira Daftan is also very nice with America and India interwoven well. Apart from some brilliant actors like Divya Dutta who performs the untouchable brilliantly, I really like the pigeon, Masakali.

Thats about it, overall, its disappointing!!!

A box of chocolates

There are some moments which half dare-half invite. You know what's in store for you and though you want it somewhere, u deny. There comes a wave which wants to sweep you away. You can either hold on or go with the flow. Life calls out for you, it demands that one bit of courage and faith to jump out of the window without caring about the consequences. You want to be strong, at least feel strong or at least pretend to be strong. One moment you are sure, one moment unsure. You dont accept that you are unsure, pretence prevails. Or maybe its not pretence but a cocoon you don't want to come out of. You want to live in a make-believe world of happiness, not knowing that once you spin the cocoon, you will be flying out in beautiful colours. You don't want to break the norm, the convention. Its convenient, its comfortable. But didn't you hate being convenient? No, Its just simple. Simplicity attracts. The moment you think that things are in control, they go out of control, or so you think. And then you get ready for the dare. You lose, but somewhere you win. Your plans fall out of place, actually they now begin to fall into place. One moment of intoxication,intoxicated with an old friendship, a long-lost love, of having that courage to step out of your cocoon, of jumping out of the window, of not knowing what you are upto. What life is upto. One moment that changes your life. Perhaps some life-changing moments, some long-lost hopes. Life is strange. God has his own plans that you possibly can't mess with. Plans that don't sink in very easily. Indeed, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you get." .

Rediscovering Art..

"The only time I feel alive is when I'm painting." - Vincent Van Gogh.

I can't agree more with Vincent Van Gogh. The art of painting does manage to make one feel alive. The blank canvas gradually transforms into a picture and the artist sees it through every stage of the transformation.
I love to mix colours. The trial till I get to that perfect shade is so much fun..and I love the names of the colours - Burnt Sienna, Crimson Red, et al...
For the time when I am painting, I am not thinking about anything else. It makes me live in the moment. Sometimes I get so lost in the painting that after a few hours into it I realize I have colour all over my clothes.
In the hustle bustle of the city; my painting class is my quiet corner.
It also requires so much of patience to work on one canvas for so many days and so many hours till I begin to see my vision shaping up into a picture.
And yes, the artist never seems to be satisfied. Some stroke seems wrong, some colors look incomplete, there is always an itch that something can still be made better.
A regular practice for an artist is that every few minutes the artist needs to keep looking at the painting from a distance to know how the picture is shaping. Isn't it such an important lesson in life? To look at life from a distance. When you look at it too closely you see it only in bits and parts and you miss the entire picture.

I am re-discovering art and I have to say that I am loving every bit of it...

Om...

Om. It is the root of all sounds. Every other sound is contained in it and it takes one beyond all sounds.
Every other day when I step on to the yoga mat, close my eyes and start my yoga class with the chant of Om, I can feel the power in this word.
Yoga is an art that has been practised for hundreds of years. As for me, just 3 months into it and I'm in love with this art. I look forward to my yoga classes and would'nt miss them for anything.
A little bit about my yoga teacher. He is an extremely funny man. He cracks his PJs when you are in the middle of a very difficult asana, makes you laugh and you gotta do it again.
He says I am his favourite student. Thats because I somehow find a way to do every asana wrong!
But trust me, it actually feels good when you just don't feel the stretch until you make an adjustment of a fraction of a centimetre and you suddenly start feeling the stretch. Or when the yoga teacher says, just use your will power and imagination and breathe from your left nostril only. And ya, after a few unsuccessful attempts it actually works. And thats when you feel a supreme sense of control! Or when he says, focus on a point in between your eyebrows. You might wonder, how does that help? But if a slight bend in the chin at a certain angle can cause an internal change in the body, I'm sure this one also does something.
The relaxation that one feels after Shavasana is probably a testimony to the power of yoga. Coz in shavasana you are not doing anything except lying down dead and shifting your focus to different parts of the body. And its surprising how you get up feeling so relaxed.
It is a form of art that requires you to be fully present in the moment. So, there was this day when I went to class with a totally distracted head and came out just the same. So, from that day onwards I know that to get value out of it, I need to be present, both physically and mentally. In this hurried existence called Life, I am happy that by virtue of my yoga classes I manage to be totally with myself for at least a few hours every week.
Given the fact that I am staying alone, yoga class which is conducted in my apartments also helps me build a social circle. So, the other day it was really nice getting introduced to this bengali lady in the yoga class. We sometimes greet each other now with a 'kemon acho'.
All in all, its been a wonderful experience so far and as they say - to find out what it is all about, you have to practice it.

Coming back to Life, and to blog...

I am back. After the long hiatus. I had forgotten that I used to blog, that I used to write; until I was reminded by a dear friend to start writing again. This new start I dedicate to you.
I've given my blog a new look, a new life.
When I looked back at some of the posts, I couldn't help but laugh at the negativity behind them. Euthanasia, literally good death, was appropriate and those posts were hence cremated.
I come back with a resolve - to stare straight into the shining sun....!

Sunshine!
- Sweta , Aug 12, 2008